In the middle of an autobiography

How do you sum your life?

Some judge it by the happiness they found in life. Some by the happiness others found in them.

I find the sum of my life by the failures and successes I have had, and I have enough of them both. Most of my successes have come without any effort and failures due to lack of effort (so that makes me a seriously lazy bum).

Since today morning a thought has been nagging me. I want to sum my life till now, to find out how much (rather if any) credit is left with me. Do I wanna know if I will go to heaven (now thats some real heavy crap!!)? Nah! Its just my waste-the-time-cells-from-my-brain working overtime. I love to daydream and these kinda daydreams are my passion - my wet dreams.

So here I am (on the urging of my waste-the-time-cells-from-my-brain) writing about the major failures of my life.

Lets get done with these, shall we?

  • I have never ever topped any exam, be it in the Kindergarten or Graduation. People say I have got potential but then people always say crap. What do they know about my potential!!
  • I have never ever been 'onsite'. If you are from the IT industry and have not been onsite then it is a serious deal dude. I mean real serious. What the hell is onsite? Onsite is the carrot which dangles in front of every software engineer and lures him to forget about the stick screwing his ass. Its the holy grail by which we s/w engineers swear.
  • I have never been associated with any of the so-called "world-famous in India" Institutions. I miss IITs, IIMs and St. Stephens from my CV. But then why work so hard for these three or four letters to be associated with your Qualifications column in your CV. Does anyone read these columns anyway?
  • Though I have always been in shape (round is a shape, don't u remember your elementary geometric?), I never had the sculpted body guys dream of. Every time Biwi pulls me up for this, I stand up, look at my toes and say "Sweetheart, abhi dilli door hai. I can still see my toes."
  • I had always longed for a "pony tail". Every time my hair grows beyond a certain level, something or the other comes up and I have to cut them short. The longest time I have tied back my hair has been for 2 days. I had to leave for my in-laws' place and had to prune my mane. Sari Khudai ek taraf, Joru ka bhai ek taraf. How could have I marred my bro-in-law's marriage for a silly pony tail?
  • Being of a medium height, I have never had the good fortune of having any nicknames like lambu or chotu. I envy people with such cute, short nicknames. Had my friends given me another nickname appropriately I would never have complained. Instead they came up with a gender changing "Pari". Sometimes I hate my friends
Hmmmm!! Looks like this post is turning out to be an ode to my failures. So be it. After all, "Failures are the pillars of Success". Will post on my success some time later. Till then dwell on my shortcomings and enjoy your fortunes!!
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