These are exciting times... In India.

There was a teacher in my primary school. She used to tell me something which makes me remember her everyday.

"Always remember that you are living in very exciting times."

I also remember her for her perfect beauty. Wanted to marry her when I grew up, but that's another story altogether.

Coming back to the exciting times, last few weeks have been quite "exciting". Sample a few of the exciting news of the recent times:

Pakistan was termed Pornistan: An ultimate triumph for the 170 million Pakistanis. They finally have something to boast about. Discounting the fact that they already had the proud distinction of being the beggar bowl of the world. And also the terror capital of the world. But being termed Pornistan is something no one can take away from them.

This one was a real killer for the dreams of all us Indians though. Damn!! all the hours spent in front of the PC uploading and downloading all the Riya Sen's and Soha Ali khan's MMSes gone in vain. Such is life. You have to take the titles as they come. We will have ours one day too.

Delhi Commonwealth Games: We Indians love pan masala. We love to spit guthka on the corners in staircases. We love to urinate in public. Going by our hygiene standards, stray dogs soiling our beds are no big deal. We live in buildings where basements are waterlogged and the walls have seepage. These are some points of enlightenment I got from the electronic media in the last few days. Now I feel like the Budhdha of Indian etiquette.

The media is having a field day last couple of weeks on the cost of a few thousand crores of rupees of the tax payers' hard earned money. The TRP is soaring as all we Indians (with our balls missing) are glued to the TV sets. Almost willing the Games to be a disaster. We Indians love melancholy. Another point in my kitty of knowledge about Indians.

Amidst all these shouts of down with the games and jail the jokers of the OC (Kalmadi, Bhanot, et all), however, none of them care about the fact they are the ones who will foot the multi-crore bill. But that's normal in a "Monsoon Wedding", isn't it?

Forth coming Ayodhya verdict : One news that has not got its due in all this fan fare about the Games is Ayodhya verdict. Something which was built 5 centuries ago over something which was supposedly built some 10 centuries ago has caused a loss of some 2000 people already. And now its threatening to take some more lives.

What baffles me is that even after some 5000 years of the so called civilization, we Indians still care so much more for bricks, mortar and pieces of land than human lives. And then we say that being territorial is a thing common to animals. Hypocrisy or should I say primal instincts.

Train Accidents in India : I always thought Bengalis were an intelligent race. If you witness the quantities of fish they consume, you would think the same. How come such a mobilized and intelligentsia populace can't see through Mamta Bannerjee is something I would never understand!

Maybe she is the Laloo of Bengal. We Biharis always have loved him. We acknowledge the fact that he had sucked the life out of Bihar. But he is still affable coz he wears a ganji-dhoti and gamcha. And he eats sattu. And he speaks like a buffoon, supposedly like the way we all Biharis do.

Anyways, both of them have something else in common apart from the uncalled for and undeserved adulation from the populace. Both have led the railways and both have some achievements there. Laloo, questionably, brought back life into railways and Mamta is taking lives with the Railways. Mamta is too busy trying to realize her dreams of becoming the Bengal CM. And with her rising popularity in Bengal the number of railway accidents are also going up. After every accident, there is a stock comment from Didi:

"We will pay 50K for all those who are maimed and rendered useless for their life. We will pay 1 L for the ones killed. BTW this was a conspiracy of the CPM to malign my image in Bengal and I will not let them break my dreams of becoming the CM. I have done so much for the Bengalis. I have fought for Nandigram. I have fought for the Kolkatans. I.... I... I..."

Nothing about the reforms in railways to stop such accidents. None. Zilch.

But we Indians, being ball-less that we are, have learned to live with such impotent politicians.

Anyways, there are so many other stories to share about the exciting times. Can't waste all my talent in describing an ugly woman in a dirty saree, can I? Will come back with some more news from the exciting times I live in next time.