President of India.... a 'He'???

Today I have no qualms in admitting that we Indians as a society are misogynists. How can I say that? When a leading news portal can call the Indian President a "him", then what else do you want as a proof. Check this out (the disputed word is underlined in red):

Delhi Blues

I shifted to Delhi, Noida to be precise, a week back. Since the very first moment I stepped out of the Aircraft, I have been wondering whether it was a wise decision to shift from Bangalore to Delhi. If Bangalore was bad Noida is a nightmare.

There is no power for hours on end. Security for your family is virtually hanging by a thread every time you step out of your house. House rents have been artificially inflated by the property dealer mafia. Water is so bad that the taps rust within a year. There is no public transport as such here. In short all my dreams before shifting to Delhi are squashed to a pulp and flushed down the drain. Its only a question of survival now.

BTW, I am still homeless inspite of searching for a house for the last whole week, day in and day out. So if you know some kindered soul who wants to rent out his house in Noida then you know whom to contact.

The Spiritual Gurus of India

Disclaimer:

These are my personal views, which I have formulated with careful experimentation and observation. This is not meant to hurt anyone's sentiments, but just a rational approach to drive some sanity into the insane phenomenon of Indian Spirituality.

There is a restaurant in namma Bengaluru called MTR. Its the famous haunt of all the new comers to Bangalore, specificaly people like me who like to try the authentic food everywhere.

However, the huge amount of interest it generates is a big inconvenience. Here you have to wait for some 2 hours before you get to lay your ass on a wooden bench and some of the famous Kannadiga food in your stomach.

All this heavenly food with a two hour wait, standing on the road in the hot summer sun, comes only at Rs 125. Before you say that "Its cheap only na saar", let me tell you the same thali comes in a friendly neighbourhood Darshini in just Rs 23.

So what's so special about the immensely overpriced MTR thali? The wait.

Its a two pronged, well devised marketing strategy from these guys :

1. What means (in true Kannadiga style), after such a long wait you will be too hungry to judge the quality of food that they serve you. You will gorge whatever they serve you and find that it tastes heavenly.
   
2. Also, seeing people around you waiting for so long to have this food raises your trust level for it. So whatever they serve has already been processed by your mind as yummy, two hours before you actually have it.
   

Quite cunning, I tell you.

Coming to what I wanted to write about in this post and why I am ranting about the bakwas MTR food.

My mother-in-law is in town and I have been playing a driver for the last two weekends. We have been to two of the most famous spiritual gurus' ashrams in Bangalore's vicinity : Sathya Sai Baba, the self proclaimed reincarnation of Sai Baba and Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, the AoL guru.

Now what I found common between these two Gurus and MTR food, apart from the huge amount of wealth generated by all of these, was the marketing strategy. When you see thousands of devotees chanting "Jai Gurudev" or "Sai Ram", when you hear a thousand voices singing in praise of the gurus, you feel an awe for these gurus. You get attracted to the hagiography created around these people.

Its the same as the MTR food, you mind pre-processes whatever these people speak to be divinity even before you lay your eyes on them. Even before you listen to them, you are already institutionalised by the halo created around them by their devotees.

But if you listen and observe them at close quarters, careful enough not to get entangled in the aura around them, you find out that most of the stuff that they teach are nothing out of the ordinary.

Most of what they speak are quoted from ancient books and scriptures (which are ancient anyhow), repackaging and selling them as new profound wisdom. I don't understand why do we need to gather the old wisdom that anything and everything is willed by a mysterious force named "God".

However, if you put all your atheistic thoughts aside, and look at their management skills with and objective outlook, you will be amazed by their efficiency.

Organisations will give anything to be able to will its workforce to be so motivated and hard-working. Someone needs to research into these spiritual orders and bring out the management principles on which they work.

What was I doing for so many days?

Well, to answer the question honestly, before the last couple of weeks, I was doing nothing. Absolutely nothing worthwhile. Just idling away time, doing some junk pet projects. But then one fine day (last to last week to be precise), I felt I have found my way to nirvana (Ain't I lucky?).

I have this habit of reading a lot of wikis (see what level we s/w enggs stoop down to complete 9.5 hours in office). Its an unending journey through the jungle of knowledge and the best thing about it is that "Its absolutely free!!". What else do you need from life!

I came around an interesting topic called Machine Learning. Suddenly, there was thunder, lightning and a huge flash of light. I knew had found my lady love, my soul-mate. I knew this is what I was born on this earth for. I know I am the next Einstein (I have even started growing my hair, sad that I will never have the shocked look though) of machine learning.

Anyway, I have started working on a small project for supervised machine learning in natural language and emotion processing. Please have a look at my other blog if you are more interested in knowing my lady love :).

The wrong Pad

As I have already said before, Apples spell trouble. But this new offering from Apple has got more scope and scale (looks like I finally caught up with the s/w engineer lingo) than the ones I mentioned before.

The newly launched "iPad' has got more scope for pun in its name than any other product ever launched. Maybe the mandarins in the tech giant's marketing division did not consult their wives before zeroing on the name.

You ask me why?

Why? Don't you get it!!

Okay, lets do it this way. Lets suppose you are near the water cooler in your office, and you overhear two of the hottest girls in the office talking :

Seeta: "Oh Dear!! I am feeling so low today"
Geeta: "I can totally understand. Its only for one of these days that I keep my pad in the bag."

Now, what they wanted to say was they were feeling a bit low and could use their iPad for listening to songs. What you (mis)understood, and more importantly (mis)reported to all your lecherous friends, is what I leave up to your imagination.

You still don't understand! Then I can't do anything for you. Its a family blog(atleast my family, read biwi, reads it), for chrissake. Anyways, what's there in a name!

BTW, I have a brilliant idea. If the larger version is called 'iPad' why not call the smaller version (the famed iPod) an iTampon. What an idea, sirji!!